Guilty

Sorry I have bombarded blogger with entries in the last few days, but Ben is on call again, so my house is quiet and I have many thoughts.

Today I am watching more DVR'd conference and I just finished Elder Dallin H. Oaks talk which made some comparisons between our relationship with the Lord and a parent's relationship with their child. My mind has been in this vein of thinking of late.

I was reminded of a long drive last week where my mind wandered to thinking about my children and inwardly smiling (as they were in the backseat asleep) as I thought about something funny Jackson had done that day and longed to get home and cuddle up with Sam in our big chair. I thought, "Is it possible for me to love my children any more?" as my chest swelled with love and pride. Then a thought, not of my own, came to me, "Do you love the Lord more than you love your children?" (I also came to the conclusion that I could be guilty of being too proud of my children. I would hate to have to be humbled in that area because my pride has swelled to a sinful level.)

Immediately I shrunk down in the seat of my car as some examples came to me.

I always read a book to Jackson and later check on both boys before I go to sleep. Do I always read my scriptures and say goodnight to the Lord through prayer before I go to sleep?

My boys are in my constant thoughts - How can I be a better mother, a better teacher? Is the Lord in my constant thoughts? Do I actively look for ways to be a better daughter, a better learner?

I think about how to teach my children to love the Lord, serve Him, and build a relationship with him, but I don't always do that for myself.

I make sure my children are fed. Do I always feed His sheep?

Food for thought for me...

Elder Oaks talk went in a different direction but it got me thinking a lot. It was really good. Here is a link in case you didn't get to hear it.
http://lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-1117-9,00.html