Sick of Sickness

I am so sick of my kids being sick.

and the preschoolers being sick.
and the wiping of runny noses and dispensing medicine
and sanitizing and cleaning up the hoards of tissues we are going through.
and the phlegmmy coughs, that sometimes turn to puking (in Sam's case).
and checking kids temperatures to see if they need to be sent home.
and the non-sleeping.
and the crankiness.
and the fact that it is too cold to go outside and the kids are too sick anyway when I just want them to run around and wear themselves out and stop whining and fussing over every little accidental "Jackson-bumped-into-me" or overreacted "EEEEW! Sam-spit-up!!" or "She-took-my-toy" or "He's-not-cleaning-up."

I'm cranky.

Is it Spring Break yet!?

The novelty has worn off

Poor Roxy. A week into her new home and she gets no love these days. Of the 2 boys who were so infatuated with the adorable puppy, one crawls up in my lap and clings for dear life when she comes near him, and the other eggs her on until she starts to play too rough and then he gets hurt and wants nothing to do with her. She is quite an exuberant puppy, a side of her we didn't see until this week.

And me?

Well, *sigh* I knew better. I'm cleaning up enough accidents off the carpet with spit-up and potty-training, I wanted nothing to do with this from the start, but saw the value in having a larger and younger dog with fresh ears to protect us when Ben is gone. So, alas, I have one more to clean up after.

I swear, after this, I am ripping up my carpet and staining the concrete! Ben has taken most of the responsibility for training her and cleaning up after her and for that I am grateful. We love her, but we are already ready for the puppy stage to be over with!!

Then there is Lady. She either hides in her crate or in a corner, giving me death-looks, as if to say, "What were you thinking!?" If Roxy chances to get too close, Lady barks and growls ferociously, saying, "Don't even think about it small-fry! I may look old, but I will rip you to shreds if you get in my face again!"

I think it will be a while before we all come to appreciate her fully, but we are being patient. After all, she is really cute...

This is what happens when Daddy does bath and bedtime...

Your feet look like Curious George! Ben said he realized after he put them on that they were mitten and not socks, but by then he didn't think it really mattered. They kept his feet warm while he slept just the same. Hahahaha! I laughed til I cried!

Introducing our new family member...ROXY!!

Sometimes I read other people's blogs and I feel sad. Blogs and facebook and church are my only connections to the outside world and I feel like I am missing out on so much! I love what I do, but I focus so much on other people's children, I have no life of my own. I never get to have the missionaries over. I don't get to develop my friendships like I'd like to. I don't get to actively pursue talents outside of teaching and working with kids. I don't get to spend quality one-on-one time with my kids and when I do get to, I'm so tired, I often don't put in as much work with them as I should. I'm so tired from cramming everything I need to get done into my day!!

Now that I have full enrollment (which truly is blessing to our family and I am SOOO grateful), I have at least 3-5 kids from 7:15-5:30. Then I have basically 3 to 3.5 hours to get dinner made, get to the gym, run any errands I need to run, do laundry/dishes/end of day clean up, bathe kids, bedtime routine. So many important things get left out. I was reading a friend's blog about a conversation she had with her 5 year old, and it was so touching how she turned a question into a teaching moment about the Lord, and how she sees her children's lives unfolding in service to Him.

It made me a little depressed with my priorities. Is is absolutely necessary that I do all those things? Can I spare a few minutes to sit down with my children and teach them about the gospel? I will make time! (I have been trying to figure out how to do FHE with our crazy schedule and sometimes alone with young kids?!) So tonight, I put Sam to bed (he has been sick with a yucky cold and running a fever today) and before I put Jackson to bed, I picked a special book that my mom got Jackson for Christmas.

It is this adorable book that tells several stories from Nephi with photography of babies dressed up like the people in the book of Nephi. Anyway, Jackson sat in my lap while we read it and periodically I would sing the refrain to the "I Will Go, I Will Do" Nephi Primary Song. That helped to keep his attention. He loved the pictures, he kept saying,"The babies are sad," which was the perfect opportunity for me to say, "Yes they are sad. That is Laman and Lemuel. They are sad because they weren't making good choices. They didn't want to do what Heavenly Father asked them to do." Then at the end I taught him the Book of Mormon Stories Primary song. We always say a prayer together before he goes to bed, so tonight I suggested that he say thank you for Nephi and help us to be like him and make good choices and do what the Lord wants us to do. Well, it is not much, but what else do you do with a 2.5 year old? That was about max for his attention span and understanding.

On another note, this weekend we got some much needed family time! We finally got the Christmas lights down on the outside of the house, Ben hung some curtains I have been wanting to hang, and we all went out visiting pet stores just casually looking at puppies. We had been talking about getting a new dog, since Lady is about 13 years old now, and she is starting to be a little deaf and doesn't always notice when things should alert her. So...we ended up falling in love with a foster care boxer-terrier mix puppy at PetSmart. We named her Roxy. Since she isn't a full blood boxer (but looks just like one), she isn't supposed to get much above my knee height. To me, that is perfect because I wanted a small dog, but I also wanted a dog to make me feel safe when Ben works nights.

Both the boys were absolutely smitten and Ben loved her, too. I had to be the voice of reason, but even I couldn't resist those big brown eyes! So far she is potty training really well and responds to the command no. She is quiet, but playful. The perfect puppy! I'm sure you will agree after her big brown eyes have hypnotized you, too.

I feel like I haven't blogged in forever...

Lots of things are going on, good things, too. I just haven't really had the time or inclination to document them.

Here's a quick run-down of the past few weeks...

My neighbor scares me. His son used to be in my preschool for like a minute and he (and his brother, who lives with him) keeps dropping by for stupid reasons and asking me nonchalantly if my husband is home. He lives 3 houses down and can see into my backyard and the back of his house faces the back of my house since I'm in a cul-de-sac. Oh, and did I mention he has done hard time? My friend Katy thinks its nothing, and I'm sure she is right, but I get a creepy, skin-crawling feeling when he is around, always have, even before I knew about the prison time. Plus, before he called to see if his son could come back (which I was able to decline because of the full enrollment - another blessing since the child is a little bit of a discipline problem), I had a dream of two men breaking in to the house separately, but in collusion with each other, and attacking me. Makes for sleepless nights since Ben has been gone a lot lately.

Jackson's potty training is progressing, but in two steps forward, one step back-style. He'll do great all day going pee-pee on the potty, but he has yet to wear a pair of underwear all day without an accident. Tonight we tried more naked time and he peed on the floor not once, not twice, but 4 times! That is insane considering that I take him potty every 30 minutes when his potty watch goes off! Once I caught him trying to poop, but I ran him to the bathroom in the middle of the act and he made it in the potty - barely! Then about an hour later, I checked on him (I could always see him, but unless I reminded him to think about it, he'd have an accident, so I kept having to go in there every 20 min or so and ask him if he needed to go potty.), and he had pooped on the floor in two spots! Gross!!!! Guess he wasn't done earlier when he made it to the potty, grrr!!

This potty training thing is so frustrating. I feel like he is totally on board and wanting to do it just like the other kids and he wants to wear his big-boy underwear over a pull-up, but he doesn't seem to understand when his body needs to go. I don't want to quit because he is so positive about it and so proud of himself when he goes pee-pee in the potty, but at what point should he be able to figure out when he needs to go on his own? I have to take him every 30 min all day or he'll have an accident. Seriously, the two times I took him ten min late, he peed all over himself. Every 30 min is getting old real quick when I have a house full of rambunctious kids and a teething, crawling baby and next week there will be even more. On the other hand, next week, Mrs. Olivia will be here all morning, so maybe I can give it more attention. Should I put this potty-traing thing on hold, or not give up so soon. We've been doing it for about a month now. How long is the average, do you think? If I put it on hold, I won't revisit until this summer when I can give it more attention. I'm not sure if it is better to do it now when he has the big kids' example or this summer when I can focus on it more. Help? What do you veteran mothers think I should do?

Sam is finally getting 2 bottom teeth. He has been a little fussy, but not nearly as bad as Jackson was. Jackson got his first tooth at 5 months, so I have been waiting and waiting. Sam just turned 8 months last week. He is so different from Jackson, even tho they look so much alike, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised! He crawled earlier and pulled up on furniture earlier. I think he'll be walking within 6 weeks, which would be earlier than Jackson, too. He is smaller than Jack and not as heavy either, but he is so motivated to be wherever I am or his brother is. He hates to be alone and WILL NOT be left! He will play independently and is captivated (read: frozen in place) by his brother's educational TV shows for almost a whole 30 minute block, but he is such a people person that his favorite activity is to play and snuggle!! Snuggling is my favorite cuz Jack would never let me! He always wanted to go off and explore or wrestle with daddy. Sam is a mama's boy, even though his word was the indiscriminate "dada." (I thought it was "hi." He said that this week, but Ben reminded me that he said "dada" last weekend. Ben awakened me last Sat morning from a deep sleep. He had woken up with the boys and let me sleep in, so I was a little groggy when he came to tell me and I went right back to sleep, haha.) He has excellent balance and strength in his legs. Even the nurses at Dr. Chen's office commented at how hard he writhed when they held him down for his last set of shots. :(

Other news with Sam is that he has figured out how to bring food to his mouth AND how to hold his sippy cup (not always to where he can get a drink, but hey, one step at a time). This is nice because now instead of sitting and feeding him, I can break food into small pieces and he can eat it on his own. It takes him forever, and half of it ends up raked into his lap, but he likes it and it keeps him quietly occupied during naptime since his nap schedule is not the same as the preschoolers'. I am able to type my care sheets right next to where Sam eats so it is great!

Last week 3 of my kids had the flu, but somehow we all avoided it in my family and none of the other kids got it! YAY! All my sanitizing like crazy must have helped a little, I guess.

Ben is doing an OB/GYN rotation now and loves it. He hates the GYN part since he is at the county hospital and has seen some disgusting things, but he LOVES the OB part. He said that if he could JUST do OB, he would consider changing his planned specialty from ER, but unfortunately, they are kind of a package deal. HIs schdeule is a little tamer than what we were used to last semester, but the last few days were hard. He was on call three nights in a row and then came home and slept all day and went right back in. Then had one day off, worked all day today and left with his dad when he got home for a three-day weekend hunting trip. It's okay though. He needs a break, and I'm in an okay place for him to leave me with the boys all weekend. Besides, we have craft night planned and Sara is coming to stay with me, and I need to give Jackson more naked time (well, unless I decide to quit), so it is a good time to just hang at home.

I'm really starting to enjoy and appreciate my calling. Last Sunday I taught again, and it went really well. Every week I am more and more confident and comfortable getting up in front of a group of women to teach. So what now? Well, I guess the Lord feels that if I can handle that, then I might be able to handle an additional calling I'm not in YW, but I have been asked to be the girls camp leader for the ward. I know it will be a hard calling in the coming months, and I have to be gone from my boys for a week this summer, but I'm excited! I love camping and I loved girls camp and I think this is a calling I can serve in with enthusiasm. My mom has already agreed to come and stay with my boys for the week if for some reason Ben can't be with them. (We don't know his schedule for the summer yet.)

Well, I'm sure there is more, but that was a bit longer recap than I had planned when I sat down and I have much to do before I can go to bed, so more will just have to wait till next time!

Full

My heart is full tonight, and I just need to say that I am so blessed!

Sometimes I am willing to take on more than I can handle and then just charge through it, stressed to the max, meltdowns here and there, but the Lord knows better than I do what I can handle, when I can handle it. I am learning more and more to trust in Him. I see that, in retrospect, what I want is not always what I need, and He doesn't let me take on more than I can handle, and even when I think I have taken on more than I can handle, He is there to aid me and comfort me. I am so grateful for his watchful care, and I feel His love in my daily life. I'm so grateful for the talents He has given me that enable me to support my family. I'm grateful to be be able to be home every day to watch my children grow and smile as I see them fit the pieces of life together in their own unique way. I'm grateful to be a positive influence in the lives of other children, a second mother sometimes, and at the same time do something I enjoy, no, something I LOVE!

And now, to top it all off, I get to feel good about the fact that people are choosing me! They are choosing me over centers, other child care homes, and even over themselves to care for their children. Bright Idea Learning Center is full, full, full for the next year and a half! I have reached max income until Ben graduates! No advertising, no tours, no financial stress...YAY! YAY! YAY!

Help!

Now that it is a new year, our church time has changed from 8:30 to 11:00. Often I am readying the family solo as Ben has to be at the hospital some Sundays. It has been hard for me to get the boys up by myself and get us all fed, prepared for sacrament with diapers, wipes, changes of clothes (for Sam the spitter/puker), bottles, sippy cups, snacks, quiet toys, etc. and off to church on time. Many times I have even prepared everything the night before, but of course, as were walking out the door, someone would have a poopy diaper or I'd remember I had to grab one last thing. Our church attendance was not stellar. When we did attend, we were usually late and sat in the foyer.

When we switched times, I thought all that would improve. But it hasn't. And now we face new issues. Our attendance has been better, but for some reason, we are still late for church! And now, our nap schedule is all messed up. Sam still takes 2 naps a day: a 2 hour morning nap beginning at about 9:30 or 10:00 (depending on what time he woke up) and then an hour and half afternoon nap at around 3:00. I have tried to play with it, but he will not lay down a moment earlier and if he is late, his whole day is messed up.

Like today. Sam woke up at 7:30, so he was barely ready to go to sleep at 10 am. I got him dressed for church, then put him down, he fussed for about 10 minutes and was asleep by about 10:15. Well, we were running late for church anyway, so he got to sleep until about 11:15, but then I had to wake him up so we could leave. I thought I could get him to go back to sleep at church with a bottle and rocking him, but nope. He was good all through church, just very squirmy and he kept climbing all over me. I would have put him down to play with toys on the floor, except I couldn't get him to be quiet in any of the meetings today! He was so babbly and loud! Finally, in the last hour, during the closing prayer, he fell asleep. When it was time to go get Jackson from nursery, I put him in his carseat, but he woke up and never fell back asleep again. Not in the car, and not when we got home and I tried to put him down in his bed.

We got home from church at 2:20. By the time I got both boys fed, and put Jackson down for a nap, it was 2:45. Jackson slept until almost 6:00. (In retrospect, I should have woken him up early, but I was busy dealing with Sam the whole time he was asleep, so I didn't.) After I put Sam in his bed, I thought he'd cry it out, but after 20 minutes the screaming was escalating, so I went to get him. Three times that afternoon I had him asleep in my arms and three times he wouldn't transfer to his bed. He just wanted to snuggle with me all day and never did really take a nap. I put him to bed at 7:30 pm and he still fought sleep! (Oh yeah, and in all that struggle, he threw up on me twice. This kid has the worst gag reflex! A little phlegm and he barfs up his last meal. On me. Or the carpet. The recliner has taken the brunt twice! We are going to have to get new carpet and furniture before Sam's first birthday at this rate!)

So finally Sam was down and 8:30 hit and it was time for Jackson's bath. I wanted to let him stay up since I didn't think he was tired with such a long and late nap, but he was being so rotten throwing fits about this and that. ("I want candy! I want to watch CARS! I want juice RIGHT NOW! No, I don't want that. That is STUPID!" That last one was a first. Where did THAT come from??! My preschoolers don't even say that!) I thought maybe he was ready for bed, too. Ben had gotten home, had some dinner and went to bed. He got up at 4:45 am this morning and didn't get home until almost 7 pm. He was exhausted, but Jackson's fits during bathtime woke him up and he came in to see if I wanted some reinforcements. The stern Daddy voice calmed Jackson down and helped for a while, but after that it was just more fits. And I'm talking major kicking, screaming, possessed by the devil fits. The kind where time out doesn't work with Jackson. By the time I put him to bed, I had spanked him twice, he lost his privilege to read a bedtime book, and I had to forego saying prayer with him because I couldn't get him to stop screaming.

Truly, my kids have their moments, but today was especially horrendous! Does anyone else have this church schedule with little ones? What do you do?! Any secrets? Please share because if I don't get this figured out, we may become inactive at church! Help!