The musings of ME:
SAH mother of 3 kids, spouse of a doctor-in-residency, caretaker and teacher of random children.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Delivery Story and Adjusting to 2 Babies

Last Thursday at about 4:45 am I got my wish. My water broke! Having not felt a contraction yet, I didn't feel the need to rush, so we called Mrs. Olivia and being the WONDERFUL help that she is, she came in 2 hours early to stay with Jackson till he woke up, then fed him breakfast and opened up for the Preschool. Our original night-time labor plan was to call my aunt Sara and she'd meet us at the hospital, but since it was so close to when I open, it would be silly for her to drive from the Frisco area to take Jack back to her house then bring him back to school so she could go to work. (She is the President of a manufacturing company.) Olivia is such a life-saver, she rescued us again and then stayed late till Sara could get there int he evening because my mom stayed up at the hospital with me during my recovery drama (see below).

At around 8:30 am I still hadn't felt a contraction, so they started me on Pitocin, which worked, but not fast enough. After they had upped my dosage to the max and still the contractions weren't getting the job done, the doctor came to me and said that we could keep going and risk infection or go to a c-section. At this point it was about 5:00ish pm. I didn't want a c-section, but I also wanted all parties healthy, so I opted to go ahead with it.

The actual c-section was a cake walk compared to almost 3 hours of pushing with Jackson, I thought. Then they wheeled me into the recovery room.

My epidural wore off within 15 minutes for some reason and I went from slightly uncomfortable to hyperventilating VERY quickly. There was a glitch in the computer system and the pharmacy had put in my order for morphine, but the recovery room nurses were not seeing it in the system. They had the meds right there, but couldn't give them to me until they could get the order in the system. It took an hour. I sat there feeling the full brunt of the incision for an hour. I had to be put on oxygen because I panicked and my chest tightened and I couldn't breathe. What a wuss huh? I always thought I was so tough, lol, I guess I needed to be humbled. I would go through my tough labor with Jackson 12x over before going through that again...or the next morning's first walk post-surgery. YIKES. The nurse said I had to walk down the hall to the nurse's station, but after seeing how much pain I was in, she told me just to walk to the ice machine, which was directly across from my door to my room, lol.

Things got better very quickly though. I made myself get up and walk regularly, and today (one week later) I am feeling about 70%. I can get up and around and I am on minimal pain meds, just to ease the discomfort at this point. I'm not really in "pain" anymore unless I turn in certain positions or cough.

Samson is a totally different baby than Jackson was. Jackson was very much a schedule baby. He'd breastfeed for 30 minutes, sleep for 3 hours and repeat almost to the minute. Sam is a cheerful baby, but very alert and awake a lot. He'll eat a small meal, then sleep for 2 hours, wake up hungry, eat a huge meal, then sleep for 4 hours, eat a medium meal, and stay awake until the next feeding, mildly fussy unless I hold him or he is in the vibrating seat with his pacifier. It really deosn't matter to me as I have help right now and I can sleep whenever I need to. Then I'll be home not working over the summer and Ben will be home too (even though he'll be mostly studying) so I'll get to rest if Sam decides to stay awake at night, but so far he has been choosing to stay awake mostly in the daytime.

My mom and Mrs. Olivia have helped so much with the preschool and Jackson this week and I have been able to stay upstairs and rest and take of Sam mostly. I can go up and down the stairs easily, and I have even picked up Jackson very quickly, but I'm taking it easy for the most part and letting them help me. This is hard for me because I feel guilty that I am feeling better and they are still doing do much work, but I know that is what I need. Next week is our last week of school and my mom goes home on Friday, so I'll be on my own after that. Ben was able to postpone the date of one of his tests, which is good because he wasn't feeling ready after spending 4 days by my side at the hospital, but also not so good because now he'll be stressing about it until the end of June and won't get much of a summer break since he starts rotations in July. Also, we won't get to see him as much, so I'm sad for that, but I know he needs to feel ready for this test.

Jackson is adjusting well to having a new brother. He is fascinated with the baby's things, like his swing and his bottles and pacifiers and blankets, etc. He does pretty well when I hold the baby, but DOES NOT like it when Ben holds the baby. "MY Daddy!" he says. He is getting better though. A couple of times he has been a little rough, trying to get the baby to play with his puppy, and we had to scold him, but he'll get it. The biggest adjustment for him is that his bunk beds FINALLY came in and Ben put them together and we moved him into the bottom bunk. He was SOOOO excited to play in his big boy bed when we first showed him, but that first night when it came time to actually sleep in the bed, he was not a happy camper. We let him sleep in his crib next to the bed that first night to get used to the big boy bed being in his room. Then the next day Ben laid down with him in it to take a nap, and now when we put him in it he cries for a few minutes like he always did in his crib, then we hear him talking to his puppy and playing. Eventually he stays in his bed and goes to sleep. Good boy!! The bunk bed is fairly low to the ground, but doesn't have a protective railing, which I hate, but Ben thinks it is good for him to learn not to fall out of the bed (?). Last night was the first night he slept in it all night and since I am up several times a night feeding Sam, I went to check on him a few times. The first time I saw this...

We moved him back to his original position, but then at 4 am I found him cuddled under a blanket near his bedroom door. It was so cute. Again, I moved him back to his bed, and that was where he woke up the next morning. We had a successful long nap in the big boy bed this afternoon and an easy time getting him to bed tonight, so we may move the crib out of his room and hide it in Sam's room for a few months and maybe he'll disassociate himself with it by the time we move Sam into his nursery and out of the pack and play next to my side of the bed.

Well, that is it. So far, so good, I guess. I'll be sad to see my mom go and feel mixed emotions about school ending next week. I'm ready for a break, but I'll miss the routine of the day and teaching. Jack will miss his friends a lot, so we'll be hosting play dates at our house and we'll be regulars at other play dates through out the summer!

Getting prepped for surgery

Samson Jay Blake, 7 lbs, 12.5 oz, 19.5 inches, born 5/22/09 at 6:40 pm

This is the best nurse at Denton Regional, Nicole. She was my labor and delivery nurse when I delivered Jackson and I was so excited that she was working when I had Samson, too. She had gotten off work and was on her way out when I was wheeled into the recovery room after the c-section, but came back to be with me when I was waiting for pain meds and hyperventilating. When I had Jackson, she was just so upbeat and sympathetic to my pain. She listened to me, tried to make things better in any way she could, and was a great coach during an arduous labor. When I had Samson, she came to see me the next morning in the recovery room. We would have all our babies at Denton Regional if we could have Nurse Nicole!! Even Ben and my mom loved her!

Jackson did NOT like to see HIS Daddy holding some other kid!

Monday, May 25, 2009

Baby Samson Is Here!

I went into labor Thursday night, Samson Jay Blake was born by c-section at 6:40 Friday night. He was 7 lbs, 12.5 oz and 19 1/2 inches long. We are both home today and doing great. I just wanted to post an update for those who were wondering. I'm super tired, will post pics and a longer, more detailed post when I have more energy and am not so doped up on drugs! Thansk for the well wishes!

Monday, May 18, 2009

38 weeks...and counting

On Wednesday I'll be 38 weeks. Today I went to another check-up. Take a guess where I am at now, keeping in mind that last Monday I was dilated to 3...

I AM STILL AT 3!!!! What?! In a week I have made no progress whatsoever!

Grrrrr. My doctor was out because he had minor surgery last week, so I saw a nurse practitioner today. She gave me some more information than just that I was at 3 cm, but I'm not sure everyone wants to read everything she told me, so I'll just say there is SOME progress. I guess I could still go into labor anytime, but the dilation report made me depressed. Then she had the nerve to mention how some women go to 42 weeks. Why would she say that?! That is just plain mean!

Plus, she said she estimates that the baby is only 6.5 to 7 lbs right now, which is small considering that at this point (38 weeks) Jackson was 8 lbs. I thought second babies were supposed to be bigger. That also means I have no reason to beg the doctor to induce me early like he did with Jackson. He was worried about shoulder dystocia, but with a smaller baby, I guess that won't be an issue.

I must be the biggest wimp in the world. I always prided myself on being so tough, but as miserable as I have been in the last week, I would have sworn I was at least a 5 this week. Haha, I even packed up all my stuff in the car in case she told me to just go right over to the hospital because I was ready!

Sigh...I'll keep you informed if anything changes, but it's not looking like I'm going to go into labor anytime soon.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Forget it!

I tried to make my blog private, but after several attempts and lots of playing around, I couldn't figure out how to let the people who already follow my blog continue to read it!

I posted 2 or 3 blogs, but no one can read what I wrote. What is the point of having a blog?! I got lonely, so I switched back. I'll just have to be more careful about what I include in my posts from now on because I give up on this privacy thing!! Hope some psycho killer doesn't follow my blog... ;)

P.S. Yes, I'm still here and still with child and very grumpy about it!! If this baby gets any lower, he'll be kicking me in the knees!! Tomorrow I'll get checked again - stay tuned for an update. (Maybe I won't make it till tomorrow! Wishful thinking, I know, but how long can a woman wait when she was dilated to a 3 a WEEK AGO!? Seriously, I am really asking. Can anyone tell me how long?)

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Finally...I'm posting pics and changing my background!

This week my group is learning about the ocean/beach. While we can't take a field trip to the beach (I wish), we are going to have a "beach day" on Friday, complete with sprinkler play, water guns, beach balls and a picnic on the new deck. We broke out the sprinkler tonight to test it out. Jackson had a blast!! You can see from some of his faces that the water was a little cold, but he still ran around completely giddy! Ben played with him and showed him how to put he little balls that go with it in the sprinkler so they pop up from the water pressure.

I am also including some pics of the new deck Ben built for us over Spring Break, now complete with a surrounding rock garden, deck furniture and some potted flowers. It is such a peaceful place to be in the evenings and we have spent several evenings this week destressing to the sound of the warm breeze rustling through the trees and stirring up the wind chimes.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Mothers' Day weekend

Mrs. Olivia came to sub for me a half day on Friday so I could purchase supplies and clean my home for Saturday's baby shower. My sister and mother, who were throwing the shower, weren't able to make it here from Tulsa until after midnight. I didn't go to bed until 2:30 am, and woke up with Jackson at 7. Yuck!

The shower was very successful. Although many people weren't able to make it, as we had unknowingly scheduled it on the same day as a church stake activity, we had a great time. Sometimes baby showers have a tendency to be forced and awkward, but this one wasn't. It was very laid back, the food was really great, we played a few easy games and just sat around and chatted. That was really what I needed - girl time! I really didn't need much in the way of baby supplies since I am having another boy, but baby showers are an excuse to get together and celebrate and I'm always up for that! My sis and mom made the invitations out to be just a diaper party, since let's face it, we all go broke buying diapers and I'm about to have 2 in diapers!! That was the best idea, and boy, did I get a lot of diapers and lots of other cute things. I probably won't have to buy diapers for Samson for a long time! AWESOME!!

I got a new wave of excitement as I put things away last night. YAY! Another boy! I can just imagine my two boys - so close in age - romping around the house, doing boy things and making a happy mess of our home! I'm all for it! Bring it on!

I did see another side to Jackson this weekend though, one I hope we nip in the bud. He is so used to being the little kid of the group. Every day I see him carefully watch how the big kids play together, and try to come join them, and see how annoyed they get with him. Being the oldest sibling in my family, I remember how frustrating it is to always have some little kid following you around and messing with your stuff, but it makes me sad sometimes to see him get his feelings hurt. I am trying to teach him about taking turns and not taking toys out of the other kids' hands, and he does fairly well with it, not usually throwing a fit - just accepting it. However, my sister brought her crawling 10-month-old with her this weekend, and for the first time, they were both alone on the floor of the playroom: Ella, with a world of cool new toys around her, and Jackson, with "his"toys. Suddenly, he turned into the mean, big kid. He wasn't so great about sharing, he took toys away from her and was also a little rough, but I suppose that is to be expected. He is about to have to get used to it real fast, so it was a good eye-opener for me on what to expect when baby Sam gets here.

Today, Ben got up with Jackson and made us both breakfast for Mother's Day: omelets! YUM! I love Ben's omelets. I even got to sleep in a little while he was making breakfast until he had to go study! Jackson and I got a lot of quality time today because Ben had to study for most of the morning. He is supposed to be in class today (He has Board review courses 7 days a week for the whole month of May), but he stayed home to study on his own so he could #1 be home for Mother's Day, and #2 watch Jackson for the last hour of church so I could teach Relief Society. I wanted to take Jackson to church alone, but unfortunately his allergies have escalated into a thick, yellow snot-nose with a nasty croupy cough. With all the swine flu scare and just because his nose needs to perpetually be wiped and they have A LOT of kids in nursery, I didn't want to take him to nursery today. Plus, they sent home a note last week about when you should not bring your child to nursery and runny nose and cough was one symptom listed. He is in good spirits, has no fever, and I really don't think he is contagious, but the snotty nose does make a nasty mess! This evening my choice to keep him home was validated when he kept coughing so much that he'd gag and throw up. I hope his cough improves by tomorrow because I have a doctor's appt in Denton, and I'm pretty sure I'm starting the fun invasive check-ups, so I'll have to leave Jack with Mrs. Olivia.

Remember how last week I was called to teach RS? Well, today was my first lesson, and overall, I felt it went pretty well. Knowing I would have a lot going on toward the end of the week, I read and studied the lesson last weekend so I could pray a lot about it and allow thoughts and inspiration to come to me all week. I put the final touches on it this morning, and that proved to be a good plan because I felt pretty ready when it was time to speak today. There was no helping the nerves, but I felt a personal connection to the lesson so that gave me some confidence. At first, I felt like the lesson was choppy and didn't flow well, and that I was just reading from the manual (although I was counseled to rely heavily on the manual and the scriptures and not much else), and I got nervous when I was about 2/3 of the way through the notes I had prepared, and I had 2o minutes left to speak. Then people started warming up and making comments, and I was able to calm down, stop being so self-conscious, and I took some deep breaths. It started to feel like I was leading a discussion instead of standing up there reading a book while people stared at me, thinking who knows what...In the end, with my notes and the comments people made, the timing worked out perfectly.

As I was thinking it through on the drive home, I realized my personal comments were kind of slanted toward how to deal with trials in your life instead of how to handle persecution, which was basically the topic, but I guess that is what someone needed to hear (or maybe I needed to share) because I felt inspired to say those things, so I'm not going to second-guess myself or beat myself up about it. Anyway, the bonus is that I now have a month where I can sit back and listen to other people teach me and get ideas and tips on how to present material before I have to teach again!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Beauty Shop Is Open!

Hey all my FW friends, I'm just putting the word out that the beauty shop is open at my house from 1-3 on Saturday. My sis, a stylist at a nice salon in Tulsa will be in town and she is going to do my hair. She can do cuts or highlights/lowlights, but not color because that would require her to bring too much stuff. I think she is great! Come check it out if you need a new do!

Sunday, May 3, 2009


Well, today I was released from my Primary calling after being the Choose The Right (CTR) 6 teacher for about a year and a half. They actually replaced me a few weeks ago, but since you are actually called to serve on the Primary Board, and I hadn't been released from the Primary Board, the Primary Presidency had me floating around to classes without teachers.

When the Bishop released me, I was relieved, until he said, "...AND we'd like to extend to you a new calling..." (huh? I don't get a break? I am already a Visiting Teaching Supervisor and I'm having a baby in like, 4 weeks, what does a girl have to do to just SIT in Relief Society!?) But I plastered a smile on my face and said hesitantly, "okay..."

And then he went and said it.

He went and called me to the one calling (tied with Sunday School Teacher) that I feel most incompetent to teach. Relief Society. (You are kidding me!? I have GOT to be the least qualified in the entire ward to teach Relief Society, not to mention my mind-numbing fear of speaking in front of adults, much less the Stepford Wives we have in our ward. (and I mean that with sincere awe and respect, not in a denigrating way)

"Wha...?" is the response I actually got out. Of course, I accepted, because I truly believe that the Lord calls us to our callings and not the bishop, but not without some trepidation.

After having several hours to process it, I think it will be okay. I mean, I only have to teach one time a month, and the sisters in our ward are MUCH sweeter and accepting and less judgemental than in the Denton Ward where I cried my way home every Sunday I had to teach RS. Plus, it is Joseph Smith this year, and I love learning about the early Saints and Joseph Smith History. Sometimes when I feel discouraged about all I have to do, I think about all that those women had on their plates and I think, if they can cross the plains with all that persecution chasing them and facing all the dangers and pitfalls that were the 1800's, then I can do what I need to do to be a good mother and wife and daughter of God in this day and age. Surely, I have got the easier task.

So, my end attitude is determination mixed with anxiety, but I know that the Lord wants me to do this, if for no other reason than to strengthen my own weaknesses. (However, my game plan from now on is to perfect all my weaknesses and then maybe the Lord will stop picking on me!!)

New Vocab

This week Jackson has added 3 new words to his vocabulary to be able to further tell me more about how is feeling:

1. He now laughs when we are being silly and says, "Das punny, Mama!"

2. He notices I am resting on a pillow or he'll rub his eyes and say, "I Sweepy."

3. He'll hear a loud sound or push the wrong button on the TV and make it go fuzzy, and he'll look at me with big eyes and say, "SCA-WEE!" (Today he saw King Kong on TV and the large gorilla elicited this response.)

Everyday he learns something new, and I am so pleased with his ongoing transition into little boy. It all happens so fast, this is the best way I know how to document it. I can't keep up with eveything by scrapbooking because I can't scrapbook 5 pages a week!

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Jackson's First Birthday Party

We have been invited to several of Jackson's friends' birthday parties, but we have either been out of town or unable to make it. Today L., one of my preschoolers, turned 4, and we were invited to his "Wall-e" themed birthday party.

We were a little late because I had to attend a teacher training this morning, then we raced to eat lunch and get over to the park where it was held. Unfortunately, it began to rain shortly after we got there, so we had to stay under the pavilion the whole time.

Jackson had a blast! First, he LOVES L. Every day when L. gets to school he gets so excited! "Hi, L! Hi. L!" he says over and over, and almost always races over to give him a hug. When I told him we were going to go to L's birthday party, he didn't quite understand, but if it involved L., he was more than game.

Although one of the youngest kids present, Jackson got to make robots with marshmallows and pretzel sticks, eat cake, and even got a few rounds in with a pinata. When the pinata broke, Jackson handled it like an old pro. He got down with the rest of the kids and started scooping candy up and bringing it to me to put in his gift box. (Easter egg hunting was great practice for this.)

When it was finally time to go, we were both a little wet and muddy (because Jackson, of course, wanted to go play on the playground, rainy or not, and chasing after him and picking him up with his muddy shoes got us both filthy), but we had a great time.

When we got home, I let him sample one piece of his candy (After all, he did just get cake and marshmallows), which happened to be an orange Tootsie pop. It was also his first solo experience with a sucker, but he did great. I'll say one thing for him, he definitely did not inherit Ben's ADHD when it comes to candy. He was focused on that thing until it was nothing but a chewed up stick!

We got L. an Iron Man action figure, which we missed seeing him open due to one of the chasing excursions toward the playground, btu I know he'll love it because he really digs Robots, Ironman, Transformers or Spiderman stuff.

I wish I had pictures to show for the experience, but I felt a little strange snapping pics at someone else's kid's birthday party. Plus, I was making sure Jack didn't steal L's balloons (which he tried) or race off toward the playground again.

Thanks, L. for inviting us and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!