The musings of ME:
SAH mother of 3 kids, spouse of a doctor-in-residency, caretaker and teacher of random children.


Sunday, May 3, 2009

Release?

Well, today I was released from my Primary calling after being the Choose The Right (CTR) 6 teacher for about a year and a half. They actually replaced me a few weeks ago, but since you are actually called to serve on the Primary Board, and I hadn't been released from the Primary Board, the Primary Presidency had me floating around to classes without teachers.

When the Bishop released me, I was relieved, until he said, "...AND we'd like to extend to you a new calling..." (huh? I don't get a break? I am already a Visiting Teaching Supervisor and I'm having a baby in like, 4 weeks, what does a girl have to do to just SIT in Relief Society!?) But I plastered a smile on my face and said hesitantly, "okay..."

And then he went and said it.

He went and called me to the one calling (tied with Sunday School Teacher) that I feel most incompetent to teach. Relief Society. (You are kidding me!? I have GOT to be the least qualified in the entire ward to teach Relief Society, not to mention my mind-numbing fear of speaking in front of adults, much less the Stepford Wives we have in our ward. (and I mean that with sincere awe and respect, not in a denigrating way)

"Wha...?" is the response I actually got out. Of course, I accepted, because I truly believe that the Lord calls us to our callings and not the bishop, but not without some trepidation.

After having several hours to process it, I think it will be okay. I mean, I only have to teach one time a month, and the sisters in our ward are MUCH sweeter and accepting and less judgemental than in the Denton Ward where I cried my way home every Sunday I had to teach RS. Plus, it is Joseph Smith this year, and I love learning about the early Saints and Joseph Smith History. Sometimes when I feel discouraged about all I have to do, I think about all that those women had on their plates and I think, if they can cross the plains with all that persecution chasing them and facing all the dangers and pitfalls that were the 1800's, then I can do what I need to do to be a good mother and wife and daughter of God in this day and age. Surely, I have got the easier task.

So, my end attitude is determination mixed with anxiety, but I know that the Lord wants me to do this, if for no other reason than to strengthen my own weaknesses. (However, my game plan from now on is to perfect all my weaknesses and then maybe the Lord will stop picking on me!!)

8 comments:

txmommy said...

you will be awesome! I am excited for you to teach :)

nikko said...

I have tons of admiration and respect for you and think you are a great teacher. Just picture us all as little 6 year olds. LOL.

Robin said...

Im excited for you.. I totally understand your feelings.. But as you said calls come from the Lord and we smile and say yes( and then say to ourselves what were we thinking...satan has a part in that) but Heavenly Father knows us best.

Kathy said...

Colleen, I am going to really miss you in Primary but I know it is time for you to grow in other areas. The Lord does know best. Love ya!

marcia@joyismygoal said...

Oh I am truly excited to have you as a RS teacher I need to hear young fresh perspectives to keep from getting old :)

Shana said...

HEY HEY HEY!!! Looks like we have the same calling now!
Coming from someone who felt the EXACT same things you just said when I was called to teach RS, I know you will be just fine.
I was so terrified to teach in RS. I had not been in RS for years because I was always teaching in Young Womens classes. (3 1/2 years) So then all the sudden I walked into RS and was supposed to stand up their in front of all these women who were way more qualified than I and teach them something they didn't already know??? Yeah right!
Now I have been teaching for 2 years now, and although I still don't believe I am the best person to be teaching them, I do honestly love it! Crazy huh?
Something that my RS Pres advised me to do was to pray before I read the lesson to know who and how to reach someone in need of that topic. It has really helped me out a lot.
I also have a really great teaching handout that gives me ideas for SEARCH, ANALYZE, and APPLY questions. It has really given me such help in guiding the class discussions.
It is so interesting how much I have learned from teaching others. It is so funny because there are lessons that I teach that I don't feel went so well afterwards, and then I get a bunch of women come up to me saying how much it meant to them and how great it was for them to listen. There are other times when I feel the spirit reallt strong and I come away feeling stronger in my testimony.
Like this Sunday, I am teaching the lesson on Spiritual Gifts. Joseph Smith teaches the Saints that ANYONE who has a testimony of Jesus Christ has the spirit of prophesy and could be like unto a prophet. For me, that meant that my personal tesitmony of prayer, of my Savior and the atonement, and of family, are all things that I have the spirit of prophesy of. So I am able to prophesy of those things to others who may not have the tesitmony yet for themselves.
What a gift that it right?

Anyway, cool stuff.

Phew, sorry I took up so much space here. If you ever want to talk about your calling, you know my phone #. Maybe we are teaching the same Sundays and we can bounce ideas off each other in email or whatever?
I teach every 2nd Sunday of the month.

Kirsten said...

I would LOVE to be in your RS class on the day you teach!! YOu will do such an amazing job, I know it!! You are alwasy so intune with the spirit and always teaching others (me) threw your own personal lessons in life. The Lord knows that your teachings and example will help other women to learn in new ways what it is they need to learn! GOOD LUCK:) I am what you used to be (CTRA teacher) and I think to myself all the time... "how in the world does Colleen teach a school full of kids this age, and younger, and not loose her mind!?! I can barely last 1 hour and feel like my teachings were completely ignored" So needless to say I miss out on alot of RS, so pass along some of you lessons:)

BelindaLvrn said...

If a lot more people had the attitude you have with this with the things we are called to do in life, our world would be such a better place. i am so proud of you! I know you can do this and will do a great job. Yes God does call us to do things, to step out of our comfort zone and to stretch us. He always knows what we need and when we need it. I know you will do awesome.