Well, today I was released from my Primary calling after being the Choose The Right (CTR) 6 teacher for about a year and a half. They actually replaced me a few weeks ago, but since you are actually called to serve on the Primary Board, and I hadn't been released from the Primary Board, the Primary Presidency had me floating around to classes without teachers.
When the Bishop released me, I was relieved, until he said, "...AND we'd like to extend to you a new calling..." (huh? I don't get a break? I am already a Visiting Teaching Supervisor and I'm having a baby in like, 4 weeks, what does a girl have to do to just SIT in Relief Society!?) But I plastered a smile on my face and said hesitantly, "okay..."
And then he went and said it.
He went and called me to the one calling (tied with Sunday School Teacher) that I feel most incompetent to teach. Relief Society. (You are kidding me!? I have GOT to be the least qualified in the entire ward to teach Relief Society, not to mention my mind-numbing fear of speaking in front of adults, much less the Stepford Wives we have in our ward. (and I mean that with sincere awe and respect, not in a denigrating way)
"Wha...?" is the response I actually got out. Of course, I accepted, because I truly believe that the Lord calls us to our callings and not the bishop, but not without some trepidation.
After having several hours to process it, I think it will be okay. I mean, I only have to teach one time a month, and the sisters in our ward are MUCH sweeter and accepting and less judgemental than in the Denton Ward where I cried my way home every Sunday I had to teach RS. Plus, it is Joseph Smith this year, and I love learning about the early Saints and Joseph Smith History. Sometimes when I feel discouraged about all I have to do, I think about all that those women had on their plates and I think, if they can cross the plains with all that persecution chasing them and facing all the dangers and pitfalls that were the 1800's, then I can do what I need to do to be a good mother and wife and daughter of God in this day and age. Surely, I have got the easier task.
So, my end attitude is determination mixed with anxiety, but I know that the Lord wants me to do this, if for no other reason than to strengthen my own weaknesses. (However, my game plan from now on is to perfect all my weaknesses and then maybe the Lord will stop picking on me!!)