Thanks to everyone who read and commented. I'm feeling a little less stressed now. I always do after I have the weekend to relax a little. Jackson is doing much better. The doctor was right. We just needed to reboot his system with the liquid diet for 2 days and then we put him on the BRAT diet, and he is doing MUCH better. He still isn't back to sleeping all night, and now he has a cold, but that I can handle.
I actually do have a sub who comes in once a week for 5 hours to releive me so I can go to doctor's appointments or take Jackson to doctor's appointments. I've even used her so I could go take a nap, which is so silly to me that I would pay someone so I can sleep, but when it comes down to it, I NEED the sleep sometimes. She plays with the kids, makes copies for me and even cleans my house when she gets bored during naptime. She is WONDERFUL, but even with her help it is still hard to keep up with everything on a daily basis.
I feel a little guilty posting that blog because I neglected to mention how much she helps me and also how much Ben helps me, too. He cooks, cleans, gives me a break so I can go have some girl time, lets me sleep in, etc. all the time. I should give credit where credit is due, but I still get overwhelmed sometimes. I think it is partly due to being tired from pregnancy and partly an overreaction BECAUSE I am pregnant and partly just tired of dealing with a sick kid.
Am I bipolar or what? One day I'm so happy and feeling super-blessed and loving being a mom, the next I'm angry and frustrated and having a pity-party. Some days I have this "I can do everything all by myself. I don't need anyone's help" stupid, prideful attitude and the next day I'm crumbling and feeling sorry for myself. I guess I just need to be humbled occasionally.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Warning - A little more negativity
It seems like all I do lately is use my blog to vent about things that annoy me. I am very cranky and stressed right now and I have little to no adult interaction for most of the week including on Sundays as I teach the 5 & 6 year olds at church for 2 hours. Please understand, I use this blog as a sort of interactive journal. I'm sorry I'm not in a very uplifting mood these days, but if you read blogs to be uplifted, perhaps you shouldn't read mine for a while. If you read to find out how I'm doing, well, I'm fine and very happy and I know that I am very, very blessed, but even so, life isn't always cherries and roses, ya know? Plus, I vent here (and with Ben) so that I can be patient with the kids.
Most of you know that my life consists of running an in-home preschool from 7:15-5:30Monday through Friday. This doesn't just mean I am with kids all day. It also means my evenings and weekends are spent doing lesson plans and cutting out arts and crafts and advertising my business and dealing with parents and planning special events like 100 Day activities and Valentine's Parties. Its not like I have a room mom or an aide to do those things for me or a planning period to do it in. Yeah right, my planning period would be naptime from 1:00-3:00, but by the time I get the kitchen cleaned up from the disaster that is lunch and get care sheets typed up, that is usually about the time Jackson decides to wake up and then I get the oh-so-easy task of keeping him quiet for another hour so the other kids can sleep.
I have 4 4-year-olds including one child with special care needs due to neuroblastoma, a type of cancer that affects the nervous system.
I have 3 3-year-olds, including one who, until last week, was not potty trained.
Then I have my 16-month-old, Jackson.
I am also 20 weeks pregnant.
I love my job. I love the kids. I love my son. I am excited to be pregnant. I planned this pregnancy. I am not sorry for taking on any of these responsibilities, nor do I plan to shirk or delegate any of them, but they wear me out. I reach maximum exhaustion level by the end of the day and it is all I can do to to stay awake, much less get up, walk around and also get household obligations taken care of as well. After catching up over the weekend, I am usually balancing things quite well until Wednesday, when I really, really, start to get worn out. Because of all the things I am juggling, if any additional balls get thrown in, I pretty much lose it.
Here's the ball that is currently making things difficult: Jackson is sick. FOr about 3-4 weeks now, he has not been sleeping regularly, he has had horrible diarrhea, and his normally cheerful temperament is, off and on, not so cheerful. We took him to the doctor. The doctor said to put him on a liquid diet for 24 hours, if he has diarrhea, continue for another 24 hours. If not, start the B.R.A.T. diet. Well, yeah right, my 27 lb kid is an eater. Poor guy, all the other kids are eating yummy lunches and snacks in front of him and I'm like, "Here's your yummy chicken broth," and he throws it at me, like what the heck is this nasty juice? Well, that was a couple of days ago and he is still having diarrhea, so our next step is to take a stool sample in and see if he has a parasite.
To all of you who are full-time working mothers: Have you ever thought about what it would be like to take your sick, starving, and cranky toddler with you to work all day? Let me tell you - it's a little challenging, especially if you work with kids.
Normally, this works really well. Jack wakes up about 7:00, I'm finishing getting myself ready, I get him breakfast, get him ready for the day and Z. gets here. Z. is here alone for about 45 min while I do the dishes, process the laundry, etc. Then the kids start getting here at 8:00, we have 4-year-old small groups while the other kids are in free play. Then we have group time at 9:00. Jackson sits in his seat at the back of the group, then we all go have snack. We go outside, come back in and go to centers, then it is lunch and naptime. Jackson usually goes down for a nap about 30 minutes before the others, and they sleep from 1-3. At 3, we all get up, watch 20 min of Sesame Street (which Jackson loves) and eat snack. Then we go outside again, come back in and have small groups with the 3-year-olds and everyone starts going home. All day, Jackson just floats around playing independently or with the kids or he'll actaully sit down and participate. He is used to our schedule and it works very smoothly. Not hard whatsoever, but of course, it is tiring.
Well, try doing all that with a kid who feels horrible, who is hungry and wants to be held, is whining for juice or crackers or bites. Can I teach with a clingy child in my lap? No. Do I have the patience for this after several weeks of interrupted sleep? hahaha, nope Does it work when the kid's sleep schedule is completely off and he doesn't want to sleep at naptime, but at other times? uh-uh.
My general attitude in life is that we do what we have to do in life and we find a way to make it work, and find a way to be happy about it. There are ups and downs, rough and smooth patches, and I have certainly experienced much worse, but I find myself praying that this particular rough patch will hurry up and get finished. It has been almost a month!
Most of you know that my life consists of running an in-home preschool from 7:15-5:30Monday through Friday. This doesn't just mean I am with kids all day. It also means my evenings and weekends are spent doing lesson plans and cutting out arts and crafts and advertising my business and dealing with parents and planning special events like 100 Day activities and Valentine's Parties. Its not like I have a room mom or an aide to do those things for me or a planning period to do it in. Yeah right, my planning period would be naptime from 1:00-3:00, but by the time I get the kitchen cleaned up from the disaster that is lunch and get care sheets typed up, that is usually about the time Jackson decides to wake up and then I get the oh-so-easy task of keeping him quiet for another hour so the other kids can sleep.
I have 4 4-year-olds including one child with special care needs due to neuroblastoma, a type of cancer that affects the nervous system.
I have 3 3-year-olds, including one who, until last week, was not potty trained.
Then I have my 16-month-old, Jackson.
I am also 20 weeks pregnant.
I love my job. I love the kids. I love my son. I am excited to be pregnant. I planned this pregnancy. I am not sorry for taking on any of these responsibilities, nor do I plan to shirk or delegate any of them, but they wear me out. I reach maximum exhaustion level by the end of the day and it is all I can do to to stay awake, much less get up, walk around and also get household obligations taken care of as well. After catching up over the weekend, I am usually balancing things quite well until Wednesday, when I really, really, start to get worn out. Because of all the things I am juggling, if any additional balls get thrown in, I pretty much lose it.
Here's the ball that is currently making things difficult: Jackson is sick. FOr about 3-4 weeks now, he has not been sleeping regularly, he has had horrible diarrhea, and his normally cheerful temperament is, off and on, not so cheerful. We took him to the doctor. The doctor said to put him on a liquid diet for 24 hours, if he has diarrhea, continue for another 24 hours. If not, start the B.R.A.T. diet. Well, yeah right, my 27 lb kid is an eater. Poor guy, all the other kids are eating yummy lunches and snacks in front of him and I'm like, "Here's your yummy chicken broth," and he throws it at me, like what the heck is this nasty juice? Well, that was a couple of days ago and he is still having diarrhea, so our next step is to take a stool sample in and see if he has a parasite.
To all of you who are full-time working mothers: Have you ever thought about what it would be like to take your sick, starving, and cranky toddler with you to work all day? Let me tell you - it's a little challenging, especially if you work with kids.
Normally, this works really well. Jack wakes up about 7:00, I'm finishing getting myself ready, I get him breakfast, get him ready for the day and Z. gets here. Z. is here alone for about 45 min while I do the dishes, process the laundry, etc. Then the kids start getting here at 8:00, we have 4-year-old small groups while the other kids are in free play. Then we have group time at 9:00. Jackson sits in his seat at the back of the group, then we all go have snack. We go outside, come back in and go to centers, then it is lunch and naptime. Jackson usually goes down for a nap about 30 minutes before the others, and they sleep from 1-3. At 3, we all get up, watch 20 min of Sesame Street (which Jackson loves) and eat snack. Then we go outside again, come back in and have small groups with the 3-year-olds and everyone starts going home. All day, Jackson just floats around playing independently or with the kids or he'll actaully sit down and participate. He is used to our schedule and it works very smoothly. Not hard whatsoever, but of course, it is tiring.
Well, try doing all that with a kid who feels horrible, who is hungry and wants to be held, is whining for juice or crackers or bites. Can I teach with a clingy child in my lap? No. Do I have the patience for this after several weeks of interrupted sleep? hahaha, nope Does it work when the kid's sleep schedule is completely off and he doesn't want to sleep at naptime, but at other times? uh-uh.
My general attitude in life is that we do what we have to do in life and we find a way to make it work, and find a way to be happy about it. There are ups and downs, rough and smooth patches, and I have certainly experienced much worse, but I find myself praying that this particular rough patch will hurry up and get finished. It has been almost a month!
Monday, January 12, 2009
Kid Quotes
"EEEW! Das ducky!" (eww, that's yucky!) -Jackson, 16 mos, after falling in the dirt outside and getting his hands dirty.
"Can you put this dress-up clo on me?" -S., barely 3 yrs, beginning to have an understanding of singular and plural.
"Is my hair small today, Mrs. Colleen?" -L., after having just got a much-needed haircut.
"I'm gonna eat all my magagrodie today." -S. again, not able to pronounce macaroni
hehe, just wanted to share some things that make me laugh regularly.
"Can you put this dress-up clo on me?" -S., barely 3 yrs, beginning to have an understanding of singular and plural.
"Is my hair small today, Mrs. Colleen?" -L., after having just got a much-needed haircut.
"I'm gonna eat all my magagrodie today." -S. again, not able to pronounce macaroni
hehe, just wanted to share some things that make me laugh regularly.
Friday, January 9, 2009
19 Weeks
This gag reflex is too wierd. I go through the day feeling fine and then something little happens like Jack spits up a little milk and I go to clean it up and I'm suddenly running for the bathroom. Last night, Ben was browning deer burger and I had to go upstairs to avoid vomiting.
I am also so easily annoyed. Sorry if my posts seem negative right now. I truly am really happy, but I find myself biting Ben's head off for the littlest things and having less patience with things the kids do that normally don't bother me. (sigh) I just seem to be permanently cranky. Who wants to be around someone like that? My poor family.
I am so done with my ribs spreading. My ribs ache all the time, which makes me sit in funny positions to try to avoid it, which makes my back hurt. Good thing my husband knows how to adjust me or I'd be miserable already.
...and I'm officially in maternity pants. My jeans still fit me everywhere else surprisingly, but they dig into my belly and I'm uncomfortable. I just want to wear a mumu all day, but I don't have any, and I doubt that would look too professional for me to teach in every day.
I had my 4 week check-up on Tuesday, and again, eerything looks great. My weight is good, the baby's heart beat is very strong and fast, and he kicks me all the time - even Ben has felt it several times. I have a sono on the 20th. I guess we'll see if it is for sure a boy. I hope so since I got the Pirates Cove bedding I ordered this week.
I am also so easily annoyed. Sorry if my posts seem negative right now. I truly am really happy, but I find myself biting Ben's head off for the littlest things and having less patience with things the kids do that normally don't bother me. (sigh) I just seem to be permanently cranky. Who wants to be around someone like that? My poor family.
I am so done with my ribs spreading. My ribs ache all the time, which makes me sit in funny positions to try to avoid it, which makes my back hurt. Good thing my husband knows how to adjust me or I'd be miserable already.
...and I'm officially in maternity pants. My jeans still fit me everywhere else surprisingly, but they dig into my belly and I'm uncomfortable. I just want to wear a mumu all day, but I don't have any, and I doubt that would look too professional for me to teach in every day.
I had my 4 week check-up on Tuesday, and again, eerything looks great. My weight is good, the baby's heart beat is very strong and fast, and he kicks me all the time - even Ben has felt it several times. I have a sono on the 20th. I guess we'll see if it is for sure a boy. I hope so since I got the Pirates Cove bedding I ordered this week.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Priceless
I wish I had a picture of grouptime today. We sang "Shake Your Sillies Out." The whole group got so into it, and Jackson was shaking and clapping and trying to jump, too. It was hilarious. Then I taught them the Primary song, "Once There Was a Snowman." They were so cute when they were melting and again, Jackson was melting to the ground, too. He tries to sing the song and it comes out, "nomah, nomah, nomah" (snowman, snowman, snowman) and then, "mah, mah, mah" (small, small, small). I was singing it to him on the way to the teacher store on Saturday and then all through the store he was singing those parts to himself. He can actually carry a tune, too. He is so funny sometimes.
Yesterday afternoon he was randomly hugging the kids from behind. You can tell he is hugging because he wraps his arms around you and then says, "Mmm-mmm." I wanted to see if he knew all the kids' names, so I told him, "Go give L. a hug." He would look around, find L. and then go give him a hug. He wasn't satisfied until every kid had been hugged! He is very big on hugs and kisses these days. Thankfully he only kisses Ben and me. We'd be passing around all kinds of germs if he was kissing the kids because he refuses to kiss you anywhere but on the mouth.
One of his favorite activities is bringing things to me. I don't know how he decides what I "need", but inevitably it is a whole group of things. If I don't say thank you each time, he will say it for me. Yesterday he brought me all of our Nintendo games, then this morning he brought me about 6 plastic bears from the playroom. He gets this look on his face like, "Look mom, I'm such a good helper, huh?"
I love being a mom. He makes me smile every day. I can't wait to see what kind of personality baby boy Blake #2 will have. He is quite a kicker these days, so I bet he is just as active, if not more, as Jackson. Does life get any better than being a mom and wife (even when your husband annoys you with his video game selective hearing)?
;)
Yesterday afternoon he was randomly hugging the kids from behind. You can tell he is hugging because he wraps his arms around you and then says, "Mmm-mmm." I wanted to see if he knew all the kids' names, so I told him, "Go give L. a hug." He would look around, find L. and then go give him a hug. He wasn't satisfied until every kid had been hugged! He is very big on hugs and kisses these days. Thankfully he only kisses Ben and me. We'd be passing around all kinds of germs if he was kissing the kids because he refuses to kiss you anywhere but on the mouth.
One of his favorite activities is bringing things to me. I don't know how he decides what I "need", but inevitably it is a whole group of things. If I don't say thank you each time, he will say it for me. Yesterday he brought me all of our Nintendo games, then this morning he brought me about 6 plastic bears from the playroom. He gets this look on his face like, "Look mom, I'm such a good helper, huh?"
I love being a mom. He makes me smile every day. I can't wait to see what kind of personality baby boy Blake #2 will have. He is quite a kicker these days, so I bet he is just as active, if not more, as Jackson. Does life get any better than being a mom and wife (even when your husband annoys you with his video game selective hearing)?
;)
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Why, oh, why?
(sigh) Ben's birthday is on January 7th, and I decided to get him an XBox 360. I gave it to him early because school starts back up for him on Jan 5th and then he won't have as much time to play it.
I know what you're thinking, but #1 - I bought it used at Game Stop and #2 - I should know better, right?
Yes, I should, but I knew how excited he'd be to get a new system. He has had a used regular XBox for the past 4 years. So I made the sacrifice.
His favorite game is some WWII game where he gets to kill bad guys, so I'm currently working on lesson plans with the soothing sounds of death and destruction in teh background. (sigh) Plus, here's the way it goes when I say something.
C: Are you getting hungry?
B: cricket, cricket, death & destruction noises
C: I made some taco soup when you were hunting, so I think I'm going to have leftovers. I know you don't like taco soup. Want me to make you something else?
B: cricket, cricket, death & destruction noises
C thinks: Forget it, he'll eat when he's hungry.
B, a few minutes later: Did you say something to me?
C: Yes, I asked you if you were hungry.
B snorts: ...and you offered me taco soup?
C, annoyed: no, I said I'm having taco soup, would you like me to make something else for you, because I know you hate it.
B: cricket, cricket, death & destruction
C inwardly repeats: I love this man. I love this man. I love this man.
I shouldn't be complaining because yes, I know, I bought it for him, and I know he's into the game and on his break, and he really works hard so he deserves this right? But COME ON, is it so hard to answer a stinkin' question!
Who hears me on this one?
I know what you're thinking, but #1 - I bought it used at Game Stop and #2 - I should know better, right?
Yes, I should, but I knew how excited he'd be to get a new system. He has had a used regular XBox for the past 4 years. So I made the sacrifice.
His favorite game is some WWII game where he gets to kill bad guys, so I'm currently working on lesson plans with the soothing sounds of death and destruction in teh background. (sigh) Plus, here's the way it goes when I say something.
C: Are you getting hungry?
B: cricket, cricket, death & destruction noises
C: I made some taco soup when you were hunting, so I think I'm going to have leftovers. I know you don't like taco soup. Want me to make you something else?
B: cricket, cricket, death & destruction noises
C thinks: Forget it, he'll eat when he's hungry.
B, a few minutes later: Did you say something to me?
C: Yes, I asked you if you were hungry.
B snorts: ...and you offered me taco soup?
C, annoyed: no, I said I'm having taco soup, would you like me to make something else for you, because I know you hate it.
B: cricket, cricket, death & destruction
C inwardly repeats: I love this man. I love this man. I love this man.
I shouldn't be complaining because yes, I know, I bought it for him, and I know he's into the game and on his break, and he really works hard so he deserves this right? But COME ON, is it so hard to answer a stinkin' question!
Who hears me on this one?
Friday, January 2, 2009
And the Winner is...
Pirates Cove from Lone Star Baby & Kids. This is exactly what I have been looking for. Now I don't have to make anything. I only have to do some painting and decorating. We are going to paint a wall that looks like an ocean with an island in the background with a treasure chest sitting on the island under a palm tree. I wish you could see how detailed the bedding is. It is so cute! I'll post pictures when we get to the painting part, but I don't hink it will be until Spring Break when I have more time off.
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