The musings of ME:
SAH mother of 3 kids, spouse of a doctor-in-residency, caretaker and teacher of random children.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Invasion of the Home & Body Snatchers

When we were discussing and praying about having another baby, I was so excited. I missed having a little baby to snuggle up with, as my current child just wants to run, run, run and climb. (He climbed up on the table today and then cried when he couldn't figure out how to get down. I guess I should be thankful he didn't try to get himself down, he just cried until we saved him.) Umimportant was the fact that only just a few months ago, I began boxing up and putting away all the baby items that have cluttered up my house for months. Gone were the bottles, the pacifers, the walker, the swing, and so many more items that are must-haves when there is an infant in the house. It seemed like we were finally taking our house back! And now I have to get them back out again in a few months.

And to make matters worse, only a few months ago I finally got back down to the size I was before I had Jackson. I had worked so hard, and was feeling like a hardbody, lol, even though I was far from it. Now, at 10 weeks, my belly looks like I had one too many beers, and I have been forced to wear maternity pants already, not because my belly is too big for my regular jeans, but because my rear end is. (sigh)

I think I hate being pregnant. What a baby I am being about it this go-round, too! Before I got pregnant with Jackson, I was in the depths of despair after miscarrying my first pregnancy at the old age of 27. (I thought that was old to be having your first, anyway.) I was sure I would never get to be a mother. So when I got pregnant with Jackson, I loved every minute of it. I loved getting fat, I loved the attention, I ate whatever I wanted, I never worked out a day of my pregnancy, I got monthly pedicures, I treated myself like royalty. And I gained about 45 lbs.

Now, I am partially in denial that I am pregnant. I think the novelty of being pregnant has worn off. Although I am so excited to have another baby, I don't really think about it on a daily basis. I don't pamper myself - who has time? I try to watch what I eat (although I still do eat a lot of junk) because I know how hard it is to get it off. And now that I am about through the first trimester and not so tired all the time, I was in the gym last night hitting those eliptical machines and weights. I won't even tell you what my feet look like. At this point, I'm too embarrassed to go get a pedicure!

I hate the fact that no matter what I do, I am slowly losing control of my body. And I'm not just talking about the weight gain and change in shape. I hate that this growing fetus makes me so tired, that certain smells make me wanna retch, that I now have uncontrollable gas, that I'm going to have to deal with hemorrhoids again. There's no sense in sugar-coating it. Pregnancy takes over your body. You all know what I'm talking about.

But you know what, it's so worth it! ;)


Holly said... knew you were comfortable letting everyone know about your gas and hemrrhoids...pregnancy does suck, I'll agree with you there! Hang in there!

Colleen said...

Too much? lol I was trying to make a point. Maybe I went a little extreme. Sorry if that was too graphic for everyone, but I figure you have all been there, so who cares. I promise I won't interject those two problems into everyday conversation though, ok?

Shana said...

I don't think it was too much. Honestly,we are women, and we need to talk things out sometimes. It makes us feel a little better to get them off our chest.
I'm sorry that you are feeling that way at this of your pregnancy. It is a totally different game when you are pregnant while having a toddler to take care of. While pregnant with Bella, I was keeping up with Alyssa and working full time away from home. It was difficult at times.
Adding to that, you have the other kids from your daycare every day. That is a lot for you to keep up with.
Pregnancy is a huge blessing and a curse as well. Just listen to your body, it will tell you what it needs.
If it means anything to ya, when I saw you just a week ago, you looked AMAZING! I'm not just saying that. You may feel tired and icky, but you don't look it girl!
Take Care!

KC said...

uhm...OMG am I just totally out of the loop here!?! I had no idea you were even trying again and then reading this I was like....OMG is she announcing she's prego? HOLY CRAP!!! I wish I could say I know how you feel, maybe I will with our next one but I LOVED being prego for all the same reasons you mentioned, it was my labor that horrified me....but we won't go into that!
I'm so happy for you, I haven't seen you in person but skinny people can always tell when their belly bump starts to show, even this early, take it as a compliment:) When people think you're pregnant because of the shirts you're wearing then I'd worry:) The fact that you can see your bump this early is a compliment to your hard work before you got prego, it shows that your body is in GREAT shape and how healthy you are - plus your body is used to being prego so this time around it's not taking a few months to realize there's something growing inside so at least you're only know!?!
I love yah girl, congrats to you and Ben and little Jack - how fun to be having a mother's day baby:) If it's a girl that'll be even more special than it already is!!! I'm so happy for you:) And feel free to vent as much as you want to, busy saty-at-home-FT working-mothers need to let it out at least once a week if not more....I like it; let's me know I'm not the only crzy-stressed one:) ttyl luvs!

KC said...

PS - I want pictures!!! You know how I am about those belly bumps:) Even if you just email them to only me, I want updates:)

Kathy said...

I think you put that last line on there just to fool us all. JK
Yeah I was kinda the same way. With Emma I liked being Prego because I really wanted a baby but getting pregnant with Spencer when Emma was only 13 months old, the second time around is no fun. Good luck. Nothing lasts forever.

Mark and Melissa Taylor said...

I was the world's worst pregnant person. I was miserable/sick almost every day of my pregnancy with Jacob. It is not something I would wish upon anyone:) the end, it is all worth it, isn't it? Hang in there!