The musings of ME:
SAH mother of 3 kids, spouse of a doctor-in-residency, caretaker and teacher of random children.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009


Today I am 30.

Lately I have been doing a lot of reflecting on who I am today and how I came to be that person. I am grateful for seasons of life because they help you grow, make you stronger (even when you thought you were strong enough), and teach you to appreciate things you have and just to be alive everyday.

I am glad to be 30. This is a great season of life. I have 2 beautiful boys, a loving husband who works so hard for us, we have absolutely no credit card debt or other major debts hanging over our heads (except for the ever-accruing school loans, haha, oh, and of course, our home & one car), we have more than what we need even in a dwindling economy, and we are all very healthy. I am happy, very happy, and there was a time when I thought I never would be.

I actually thought I'd never get married again, never have kids, never get out of debt, etc, etc, etc. I was MISERABLE. I didn't want to die, but I didn't want to live. How sad that a person in their 20's with so much life left to live couldn't be happy. All I could do was sit around and feel sorry for myself and count all the ways that my life sucked. That was not a fun season. I'm glad it is over, but I'm also glad (in some ways) that I went through it. I learned how to love and respect myself and others, and to marry someone who was a good decision with my head and my heart. I learned patience, and how to be a good teacher, which taught me how to be a good mother. I learned to take care of my body, not to abuse it and that health is a blessing and not to take it for granted. I learned to set goals for myself and keep my standards. I learned that happiness is a verb. It is something you have to earn for youself, not something you just get from alcohol, a cigarette, junk food or a man. I learned that if you want to be happy, you can find directions in the scriptures and from our prophets, and that it really isn't as fleeting or complicated as we think it is.

How glad I am not to be in that place anymore. So today I am grateful for the chance to grow and change and learn. I am happy to be 30 and look forward to facing new seasons, no matter what they may bring.


Holly said...

I needed this. Thank you.

Jay said...

Happppppyyyy Birthday--a little late, but with just as much joy being sent your way. Thanks SO much for your post. You are a wise lady.

nikko said...

Good for you! Happy Birthday!

Robin said...

You are amazing. Thanks for the post. Its good to know that when life doesn't go the way we planned, you were able to pick yourself up and get doing in a good direction. Thanks

Shana said...

Isn't it so weird to be 30? I remember when 30 seemed old and now it isn't some how? :)

I have a good life said...

Happy Birthday! I am sorry I didn't know....I would've called you and sung a very off-tune happy birthday that is sure to have made you smile...just by the off-tune-ness! :)

Thank-you for posting as you did. It gives me great hope.

Happy 30th!

Natalie said...

What a wonderful post. I loved your thoughts. I wish lots of young girls could read it.
Happy Belated B'day.
Your boys are so cute.
Hugs, Txmommy's Mom

Kirsten said...

I remember meeting you for the first time... and not really liking you, lol :) Hearing storeis from my friend at work (who knew you & you're old hubby), But then as you grew stronger in the gospel, and started to let "the real you" shine... as Ben started to notice you & fall in love with you... so did I:) Happy Birthday... TOAST! To another 30 years of knowing you & loving the person you really are!! And to watching our boys grow up so closely in age - can't wait:)